NOVEMBER 28, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Potential Trade Deal with China. Impact: If Trump had chosen to set the table for a peaceful dinner with Xi, this could have led to a world where we all communicate through interpretive dance instead of tariffs. But alas, that dinner likely just featured cold pizza and awkward silences.. Fact: Did you know that trade wars are just bartering for adults? The real question is, who brought the snacks?.
• Headline: Long Wait for Migrants at the Border. Impact: As the migrants wait, the ripple effect is that they inadvertently inspire a new genre of music: 'Waiting Room Blues.' This soundtrack could go on to dominate playlists everywhere, creating an ironic soundtrack to their struggles.. Fact: Fun fact: The longest wait in history was for the sequel to that movie you loved in 1994. It’s still in development, just like some immigration policies..
• Headline: Trump Legal Team Briefed on Manafort's Testimony. Impact: Manafort's lawyer briefing Trump’s team was like giving a kid a cheat sheet for a test they already studied for—only to find out the test is on a completely different subject. Who knew legal strategy could be this entertaining?. Fact: Did you know that lawyers used to be called 'counselors'? Now they’re just ‘How to spend your life savings in three easy steps’ professionals..
• Headline: In Electing Cindy Hyde-Smith, Mississippi Stays True to Its Conservative Roots. Impact: By electing Cindy Hyde-Smith, Mississippi solidified its status as a state that takes a 'stay true to your roots' approach, which might explain why they’re still using flip phones and debating if the internet is a fad.. Fact: Did you know that Mississippi is where the term 'political roots' was coined? They just took it literally..
• Headline: How a Push to Legalize Pot in N.J. Became a Debate on Race and Fairness. Impact: The push for legalization in New Jersey sparked a nationwide reevaluation of criminal justice and drug policy. In 50 years, we might find ourselves in a dystopian future where 'pothead' is a respected job title.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing slower than legalizing pot is the speed at which your aunt tells the same story at family gatherings? It's a close race..