OCTOBER 2, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: California's Controversial Boardroom Gender Law. Impact: In a parallel universe, this law actually led to an uprising of boardroom cats who demanded equal representation. Their meow-tion for board seats changed corporate governance forever, resulting in a world where all meetings are held in the sunniest spots of the office.. Fact: The term 'diversity' was originally coined by a raccoon trying to explain its varied diet of trash. True story..
• Headline: Kavanaugh Nomination Controversy Intensifies. Impact: Kavanaugh's temperament was dissected so thoroughly that it led to the creation of a new reality show called 'Judges: Unfiltered.' The series became a cultural phenomenon, forever changing how we view courtroom dramas—with more drama than actual court.. Fact: Senate hearings were originally designed as a way to showcase the best wigs of the 1700s. Now they’re just a stage for political theater, minus the good hair..
• Headline: Dylan's Music Illuminates Dark Tales. Impact: This play inspired a wave of artistic expression where even the most mundane life events were turned into dramatic performances, leading to a global trend of 'living theater' where everyone narrates their daily tasks. Spoiler alert: grocery shopping has never been more riveting.. Fact: Bob Dylan once wrote a song about a particularly moody potato. It was a hit among vegetables but failed to chart with humans..
• Headline: These Cholesterol-Reducers May Save Lives. So Why Aren’t Heart Patients Getting Them?. Impact: The failure to distribute these cholesterol-reducers led to a secret society of heart patients who formed an underground network, sharing homemade remedies that involved questionable ingredients and lots of garlic. They became surprisingly healthy, though their breath was a different story.. Fact: PCSK9 is not just a drug name; it’s also the secret password to a very exclusive club of molecular biologists who really love acronyms..
• Headline: Creating a Standout Vacation Rental. Impact: The quest for the perfect vacation rental led to an arms race of increasingly bizarre rental themes, resulting in a global market for 'haunted' and 'upside-down' homes. Families now vacation in homes that defy gravity and logic.. Fact: The first vacation rental was actually a cave rented out by a Neanderthal who just wanted some peace and quiet from his noisy family. Thank goodness for progress!.