SEPTEMBER 8, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Harvard's Impact on Worker Wages. Impact: Harvard's decision to pay its workers decently sparked a nationwide movement, resulting in a new job title: 'Professional Middle-Class Consultant', where experts advise companies on how to pretend they care about their employees without actually doing anything.. Fact: Isn't it adorable when elite institutions try to act like they care? It's like a billionaire giving a penny to a homeless person and expecting a parade..
• Headline: Trump's Secret Meetings with Venezuelan Rebels. Impact: The Trump administration's discussions with Venezuelan officers not only led to a topsy-turvy political climate in Venezuela but also inspired a new genre of reality TV shows: 'Coup or No Coup?' where contestants must guess the outcome of various global uprisings.. Fact: Fun fact: This meeting had more plot twists than a soap opera. Who knew political intrigue could rival daytime television?.
• Headline: Top Cancer Researcher Fails to Disclose Corporate Financial Ties in Major Research Journals. Impact: The cancer researcher's financial indiscretions eventually led to a public outcry that resulted in stricter regulations, inadvertently giving rise to a new field: 'Ethical Corporate Financial Juggling', where researchers juggle their integrity and funding.. Fact: It's almost comforting to know that in a world where people can’t keep secrets, researchers can still keep their financial ties hidden better than my roommate keeps their dirty dishes..