AUGUST 31, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Examining Google's Bias in Search Results. Impact: If you think Google's algorithm tweaks just affected search results, think again. Thanks to this conversation, conspiracy theorists now believe that Google's next product will be a mind-control device that only works on conservatives. Welcome to 2030, where your thoughts are suggested by an algorithm!. Fact: Did you know that Google once considered changing its name to 'Googley-McGoogleface' after a public poll went horribly wrong? Thank goodness they didn’t!.
• Headline: NBC’s Role in Weinstein Investigation Controversy. Impact: This revelation sent shockwaves through journalism, leading to the establishment of a secret society of whistleblowers operating from a hidden lair beneath a coffee shop. Because nothing says 'expose the truth' like a grande mocha latte.. Fact: Fun fact: NBC once considered broadcasting a show called 'Weinstein: The Musical' before realizing that the public wasn't ready for a song-and-dance routine about harassment. Who knew?.
• Headline: Coca-Cola Bets on Coffee With $5.1 Billion Deal for Costa. Impact: Coca-Cola's coffee venture will lead to a future where caffeinated sodas are the primary source of energy for political campaigns. By 2035, mayors will be elected based on their ability to market a 'Coke and Coffee' beverage!. Fact: Did you know that Coca-Cola once tried to make a beverage that was both coffee and soda, but it just tasted like regret and missed opportunities?.
• Headline: The Silence After the Hit-and-Run. Impact: After this hit-and-run, police departments worldwide decided to invest in crash investigation squads, creating an underground support group for officers who can't seem to find their way out of a paper bag. 'We can solve anything, as long as it doesn't involve paperwork!'. Fact: Five years later, the official police motto became 'We promise to try harder!'—a huge improvement from their previous motto: 'We'll get to it... eventually.'.