AUGUST 14, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Disarray in White Supremacist Movement. Impact: After Charlottesville, the alt-right's disarray set off a chain reaction of events, leading to an unexpected resurgence of knitting clubs across America—because who needs hate when you can purl?. Fact: Did you know that the term 'alt-right' was first used in 2008? It’s almost like they were just practicing for their eventual flop!.
• Headline: Mixed Reviews for 'Gettin’ the Band Back Together'. Impact: The creation of 'Gettin’ the Band Back Together' inadvertently inspired a new trend of half-baked reboots, leading to a future where every beloved classic gets a musical adaptation—yes, even your grandmother’s biscuit recipe.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'get the band back together' is now a legal excuse for avoiding family reunions..
• Headline: Trump Insults Omarosa as 'That Dog'. Impact: Trump calling Omarosa 'that dog' not only strained their relationship but sent shockwaves through the canine community, leading to the establishment of the 'Paw-sitive Impact' movement advocating for respect towards all breeds.. Fact: Did you know that Trump once owned a dog named 'Violet'? Turns out, she was the only one allowed to bark back..
• Headline: Trump’s Trade War Is Rattling China’s Leaders. Impact: Trump's trade war with China inadvertently initiated a secret competition for the best fortune cookie message, forever altering the landscape of takeout menus across the globe.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'trade war' is just a fancy way of saying 'who can throw the biggest tantrum'?.
• Headline: Review: ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ Is a Party With a First-Rate Guest List. Impact: The success of 'Crazy Rich Asians' indirectly led to an entire genre of movies focusing on extravagant wealth, resulting in a future where we all expect to attend lavish parties, even if it’s just for a Zoom call.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Crazy Rich Asians' was such a hit that it made 'crazy poor' the new status quo for indie films..