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HEADLINES ON August 9, 2018
Full News Archive
- Headline: Judge T.S. Ellis III Commands Courtroom Order. Impact: Judge T.S. Ellis’ strict courtroom demeanor might just spark a nationwide trend of judges adopting Roman titles, leading to a bizarre society where courtroom etiquette is as formal as a Shakespearean play.. Fact: Judge Ellis' courtroom has become so efficient that it reportedly runs on the tears of procrastinating lawyers, who are often left wondering why they didn’t prepare better..
- Headline: Trump’s Tariffs on Canadian Newsprint Hasten Local Newspapers’ Demise. Impact: Trump's tariffs on Canadian newsprint could lead to a dystopian future where all news is delivered via interpretive dance, as local newspapers struggle to stay afloat.. Fact: Local newspapers have been dying faster than houseplants in a college dorm, and with these tariffs, they’re on the express train to the great recycling bin in the sky..