JULY 15, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Croatia's Unexpected Rise in Football. Impact: Croatia's surprising rise to champion status sparked a global fascination with underdogs, inspiring countless movies, motivational speeches, and the birth of a new genre: 'Feel-Good Sports Documentaries.' Who knew a soccer ball could change the world?. Fact: Did you know Croatia is home to the original necktie? So, if you ever find yourself losing a bet on a soccer game, at least you can look dapper while crying!.
• Headline: Democratic Candidates Gear Up for 2020. Impact: The 2020 election preparation led to an unprecedented trend of politicians practicing their 'I love America' faces in mirrors across the nation. This bizarre phenomenon fueled the growth of a new self-help industry: 'Mirror Politics.'. Fact: Did you know that in 2020, every Democrat was basically auditioning for the role of 'Most Charismatic Politician'? Spoiler alert: Everyone got a participation trophy!.
• Headline: Trump's Actions Aid Putin's Agenda. Impact: Trump's tête-à-tête with Putin set off a chain reaction of international eye-rolling that continues to echo through diplomatic channels. The phrase 'I need a drink' became the unofficial motto of world leaders after this encounter.. Fact: Did you know that after their meeting, Trump and Putin were seen sharing a secret handshake that’s now rumored to include three spins, a jazz hands flourish, and a wink? Politics is basically a talent show now!.
• Headline: Trump Has Yet to Award the National Arts Medals for 2016. Impact: Trump's record-breaking delay in awarding the National Arts Medals created an arts vacuum that led to a renaissance of memes, as frustrated artists took to social media to express their discontent. Welcome to the age of the ironic art movement!. Fact: Did you know that the last president to take this long was actually painting their own portraits? At least they were productive... sort of..