JULY 9, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Four Thai Boys Rescued from Cave. Impact: If this rescue hadn't happened, the 13 kids might have formed a cult dedicated to cave exploration, leading to a bizarre new trend of underground soccer leagues that would haunt humanity for centuries.. Fact: Did you know that before this rescue, the only real danger in underwater caves was not being able to find a good Wi-Fi signal?.
• Headline: Exploring 'Sharp Objects' Premiere Insights. Impact: The success of 'Sharp Objects' led to a flood of shows featuring deeply troubled characters, resulting in an entire generation who feel completely justified in their emotional breakdowns while binge-watching.. Fact: Fun fact: Amy Adams has played so many troubled characters that she’s now legally required to check into therapy after every filming..
• Headline: Xiaomi's I.P.O. Sparks Investment Concerns. Impact: Xiaomi's weak IPO sent shockwaves through the tech industry, leading investors to wonder if they should just stick to investing in artisanal soap instead.. Fact: Did you know that 'Xiaomi' roughly translates to 'little rice'? Because apparently, that's all they were serving investors at this IPO..
• Headline: At Wimbledon, Surprise Guests Arrive for Manic Monday. Impact: Surprise guests at Wimbledon led to an influx of random celebrities showing up at sports events, which eventually gave rise to the concept of celebrity spectator influencers. Thanks, Wimbledon!. Fact: Did you know that 'Manic Monday' was originally coined to describe Mondays where you realize your weekend plans were a terrible mistake?.
• Headline: Theresa May in Fight to Save Government Amid Brexit Rift. Impact: Theresa May's struggles with Brexit led to an inevitable reality show about British politics, featuring dramatic exits and awkward silences, proving that reality television really can ruin anything.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Brexit means Brexit' was actually coined as a secret code to confuse the public into thinking politicians were doing something important?.