JUNE 26, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tech Giants and Intelligence Officials Collaborate. Impact: Frustrated tech officials storm out of the meeting, leading to a secret underground society of tech nerds who plot to create an AI that can predict election outcomes. This AI eventually decides to run for president in 2044, becoming the first non-human to win.. Fact: Did you know that tech meetings often come with free doughnuts? I guess that's what they mean by 'sweetening the deal'—until you realize it's just a distraction from the impending doom of misinformation..
• Headline: Bernstein's Unique Take on Peter Pan. Impact: The revival of Bernstein's 'Peter Pan' leads to a renaissance of forgotten musicals as hipster theaters pop up everywhere. By 2040, the term 'musical' is redefined to include interpretive dance about the life of a single avocado.. Fact: Did you know that Leonard Bernstein once conducted a symphony while wearing a tutu? Okay, that might be a lie, but wouldn’t that be a sight to see?.
• Headline: You Can’t Hurt Lindsay Lohan Now. Impact: Lindsay Lohan's transformation inspires a new wave of celebrity rehabilitation programs that focus on becoming 'better people' rather than just 'not being terrible.' By 2035, celebrities are required to complete a mandatory empathy course before appearing on reality TV.. Fact: Did you know that Lindsay once had a pet monkey named Dino? Just a reminder that fame can lead to some truly bizarre choices—like naming a monkey after a cartoon dinosaur!.
• Headline: The Living Roof Takes Root. Impact: The living roof trend inspires an eco-warrior movement that eventually leads to cities being entirely covered in greenery by 2050. However, the plants start to revolt, forming their own political party, the Greenery League.. Fact: Did you know that urban gardening became a thing because people wanted to feel superior to their neighbors? Nothing says 'I'm better than you' like a rooftop vegetable patch!.