MAY 18, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Funding Restrictions on Health Facilities. Impact: This funding restriction led to a surge of underground abortion clinics, where decisions were made in secret, and questionable DIY methods flourished. Who knew that the butterfly wings of bureaucracy could cause a storm of desperation?. Fact: Did you know that in 2020, women across the U.S. still faced significant barriers to reproductive health? Because nothing screams 'freedom' like being told what to do with your own body!.
• Headline: Jordan Peterson's Views on Masculinity. Impact: Jordan Peterson's musings sparked a movement of men buying 'How to Be a Man' books, leading to a global shortage of self-help books and a rise in misguided masculinity seminars. The ripple effect? A generation of men who think wearing flannel means they understand feminism.. Fact: Fun fact: The 'crisis in masculinity' can be traced back to the invention of the toaster. Suddenly, men no longer needed to hunt for breakfast!.
• Headline: Docks: A Hamptons Home Essential. Impact: The obsession with docks in the Hamptons created a new socio-economic divide: dock-haves and dock-have-nots. This led to a series of 'Dock Wars,' where trust funds were used to finance covert dock-building operations.. Fact: Did you know that the average price of a dock in the Hamptons could feed a small country? But hey, at least you can park your yacht in style!.
• Headline: When Even LeBron James’s Best Might Not Be Enough. Impact: LeBron's struggle in the finals triggered a worldwide crisis of faith in sports. Fans began questioning the very fabric of reality, leading to increased sales of 'How to Cope with Disappointment' guides.. Fact: Did you know that LeBron James has more NBA Finals appearances than the average person has vacation days? Talk about prioritizing the wrong kind of stress!.
• Headline: In Texas School Shooting, 10 Dead, 10 Hurt and Many Unsurprised. Impact: The Santa Fe High School shooting echoed through time, igniting debates on gun control that would become an endless cycle of thoughts and prayers. It turned out to be the catalyst for a movement that would leave many feeling both helpless and hopeful.. Fact: In the aftermath of such tragedies, the phrase 'thoughts and prayers' became so overused that it could almost qualify as a meme. It's a shame it doesn't come with real solutions!.