MAY 14, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Israel Celebrates 70th Anniversary Amidst Tension. Impact: When the U.S. moved its embassy to Jerusalem, it sent shockwaves through the Middle East. Little did they know, this would lead to a wild series of events that would force all future diplomats to wear 'I survived the embassy move' t-shirts.. Fact: Did you know that the last time something was moved this dramatically, it was just my couch during a particularly intense episode of 'Friends'?.
• Headline: The Importance of Timely Show Conclusions. Impact: The finale of 'Barry' reminds us that sometimes, even the most beloved shows need to end. This decision created a ripple effect, leading every TV executive to suddenly think they could do the same with their own series. Spoiler alert: they can't.. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing harder than ending a great show is convincing a network to stop milking a mediocre one. See also: any reality TV series..
• Headline: Chad's Elephants Return to Zakouma National Park. Impact: As elephants returned to Chad, it sparked a global movement of wildlife conservation. Ironically, this led to a trend where humans started wearing elephant-themed apparel, hoping to seem more 'earth-friendly' while sipping their soy lattes.. Fact: Did you know that elephants can recognize themselves in mirrors? Meanwhile, humans still struggle with not stepping into their own reflection at the mall..
• Headline: One Last Book From a Virtuoso of the Short Story. Impact: William Trevor's last book serves as a poignant reminder that great authors eventually leave us. This has led to a peculiar phenomenon where aspiring writers now have death as their ultimate marketing strategy.. Fact: Did you know that the best way to ensure your work is remembered is to die tragically young? Just ask every famous artist ever..
• Headline: Supreme Court Ruling Favors Sports Betting. Impact: The Supreme Court ruling on sports betting opened the floodgates for states to become mini-casinos. This has inadvertently led to a nationwide obsession with betting on everything, including whether or not your neighbor will finally mow their lawn.. Fact: Did you know that Americans spend more on illegal sports bets than they do on actual sports? So much for supporting your local teams!.