MAY 8, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gina Haspel's CIA Nomination Controversy. Impact: Gina Haspel's confirmation hearing not only made headlines but also initiated a wild trend of people Googling 'CIA torture techniques' instead of just sticking to their usual cat videos. Who knew educational procrastination could lead to such dark rabbit holes?. Fact: Fun fact: The CIA's official motto is 'And you thought your job was stressful.'.
• Headline: Instructors Removed Amid Student Protests. Impact: The removal of instructors marked a pivotal moment in academia where students learned their voices have power. This led to a ripple effect, prompting future generations to believe that protesting about everything from cafeteria food to homework loads could lead to change. Spoiler alert: it didn't.. Fact: Did you know that the #MeToo movement started as just a hashtag? Now it’s the ultimate 'get out of jail free' card for anyone looking to claim they were 'misunderstood' in a public forum..
• Headline: The Scene Inside the Met Gala. Impact: The Met Gala is the annual reminder that while the world is falling apart, the rich can still afford to dress like they’re auditioning for a circus. This spectacle has not only cemented fashion's role in society but also raised the bar for absurdity in public events.. Fact: Did you know that Kim Kardashian's outfit at the Met Gala reportedly cost more than the GDP of a small country? Just kidding, it was actually just a really, really expensive dress..
• Headline: Iranians Fear Deeper Crisis as Trump Ends Nuclear Deal. Impact: Trump's decision to end the nuclear deal sent shockwaves through the Middle East, causing Iranians to panic and invest in a new economy of underground bartering. Who knew that a tweet could change international relations faster than you can say 'nuclear proliferation'?. Fact: Did you know that ending the nuclear deal was like throwing a lit match into a gas station? Just when you think things can't get worse, someone always finds a way to make it explode..