APRIL 19, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: James Comey's Take on Ethical Leadership. Impact: Comey's continued public appearances could eventually lead to a reality show titled 'FBI: Fashion Bureau Investigated', where agents solve crimes while looking dapper.. Fact: James Comey is taller than most FBI agents, which may explain why he always seems to be looking down on everyone—literally..
• Headline: Changing Landscape of Immigration Policy. Impact: This change in immigration policy might just lead to a future where love letters are replaced with legal contracts—romance will be filed under 'T' for 'Terms and Conditions'.. Fact: Marriage has always been a complex contract, but now it's like signing up for a subscription service with a very high cancelation fee..
• Headline: Trump Wants to Close Trade Gap, but Leaves Export Agency in Limbo. Impact: This could result in the creation of a new reality show, 'Survivor: Export Edition', where businesses compete to stay afloat while the government takes a nap.. Fact: The Export-Import Bank is like that friend who always promises to help you move but mysteriously disappears when the day arrives..
• Headline: Passing the Torch: Denzel Washington and Michael B. Jordan. Impact: If Denzel and Michael continue to collaborate, we might end up in a world where every film is a feel-good superhero saga, and we all start believing we can fly—at least until the sequel flops.. Fact: Denzel Washington once turned down a role in 'The Matrix'. Imagine if Neo had been played by a slightly less charismatic actor—would we still be dodging bullets today?.