APRIL 14, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Coalition Airstrikes Against Syria in 2018. Impact: The strikes in Syria led to a butterfly effect where every missile launched caused a ripple of questionable military strategies, resulting in future leaders pondering if they should just stick to Twitter diplomacy instead.. Fact: Did you know that 'Mission Accomplished' has become a phrase synonymous with military overreach? Kind of like saying 'I totally nailed that presentation' right before the projector explodes..
• Headline: Escaping Trump’s America: True Stories. Impact: The exodus from Trump’s America sparked a new trend of 'Escape from Reality' tourism, where people now take vacations to countries they never thought they'd visit—like Canada, for the maple syrup and the polite people.. Fact: Did you know that the 'Sound of Music' wasn't actually about fleeing America? But hey, as long as you have a good Wi-Fi connection, who needs music?.
• Headline: Weight Watchers' Transformation Under Mindy Grossman. Impact: Weight Watchers' pivot to wellness may have inadvertently led to a global obsession with avocado toast, causing millennials to redefine brunch and single-handedly boost the economy of hipster cafés.. Fact: Did you know that Mindy Grossman’s title as an F.O.O. makes her sound like a secret agent for the wellness industry? 'Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make us all feel guilty about our carbs.'.
• Headline: ‘Mission Accomplished!’ But What Is the Mission in Syria?. Impact: The question of the mission in Syria led to more debates than a high school debate club, resulting in a generation of leaders who are now experts in dodging questions rather than providing answers.. Fact: Did you know that 'What is the mission?' is the new ‘What do you want to do for dinner?’—a question that leads to endless discussions and no actual decisions..