APRIL 12, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: National Enquirer Under Federal Investigation. Impact: When the National Enquirer got involved, it set off a chain reaction that led to the rise of tabloid journalism, where the truth is just an optional accessory. Fast forward, and now every conspiracy theory has its own Wikipedia page.. Fact: Did you know the National Enquirer once claimed Elvis was spotted working at a fast food joint? Clearly, they’re known for their hard-hitting journalism..
• Headline: Trump's Threat of Missiles in Syria. Impact: Trump's ominous missile announcement sent shockwaves through the future, leading to an uptick in online missile-themed memes and an endless debate on Twitter about the best 'missile defense' strategies, which mostly include adding more snacks to your bunker.. Fact: Did you know that before launching missiles, military planners often consult astrology? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that make for an interesting press briefing?.
• Headline: Debate on Sound and Silence in Revival. Impact: The revival of 'Children of a Lesser God' sparked a cultural shift that rippled through theater, leading to an explosion of plays about all sorts of marginalized experiences. Eventually, we’d end up with a musical about a talking slice of pizza—truly, the pinnacle of artistic expression.. Fact: Did you know that the original play was so groundbreaking that it made critics question whether silence could be more powerful than a thousand words? Spoiler alert: It can..
• Headline: This Man Expects to Run a 2:50 in the Boston Marathon on Monday. Impact: Tim Don's remarkable comeback story inspired countless athletes to push their limits, proving that breaking your neck is merely a minor inconvenience on the path to gloriously unrealistic fitness goals. Soon, gym selfies became even more ridiculous.. Fact: Did you know that running a marathon after a serious injury is considered the 'Do Not Try This At Home' part of athleticism? Yet here we are, cheering on the next daredevil..
• Headline: Mattis Tries to Put Brakes on Possible Syria Strike, to ‘Keep This From Escalating’. Impact: Mattis's attempts to slow down a Syria strike can be traced to a future where military decisions are made with the same caution as ordering takeout—because no one wants to escalate things over a bad choice of cuisine.. Fact: Did you know that in military strategy, the phrase 'let's not escalate' is often followed by someone finding a cat video to lighten the mood? Just a theory..