APRIL 7, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Economic Growth Amid Tariff Tensions. Impact: This trade war could lead to a world where people start hoarding soybeans and steel like they're rare Pokémon cards. You know, because who doesn't want to be the proud owner of a 20-ton shipment of metal?. Fact: Did you know that tariffs are like taxes, but with a fancy suit? They make you feel good for a moment, but in reality, they just make everything more expensive..
• Headline: Masters Day 2: Reed Takes Command. Impact: Reed's lead could inspire a new generation of golfers to believe they too can win while being surrounded by controversy. The next golf prodigy might just be a TikTok influencer!. Fact: Did you know that golf is the only sport where you can yell 'fore!' and no one gets mad? Imagine shouting that at other sports – chaos!.
• Headline: The Juul Craze and Youth Vaping. Impact: The Juul craze might just lead to a future where kids are more attached to their vapes than their smartphones. Who needs social skills when you have flavored nicotine?. Fact: Did you know that Juuls have created a new generation of experts in stealth vaping? It's like a secret society, only less cool and with more coughs..
• Headline: Skateboarders Won. Impact: This skateboarding renaissance might just inspire future world leaders to adopt a more relaxed approach, leading to peace treaties being signed on half-pipes instead of in stuffy conference rooms.. Fact: Did you know that skate parks are basically adult playgrounds? Just with more broken bones and fewer swings. Who knew childhood dreams would become a reality?.
• Headline: Is It Time to Rethink the Rules for N.F.L. Cheerleaders?. Impact: If cheerleaders get better treatment, we might see a future where they become the most respected group in the sport. Imagine that: cheerleaders as the new power brokers of the NFL!. Fact: Did you know that cheerleading was originally a male-only sport? Somewhere along the line, someone decided pom-poms needed a more feminine touch. Thanks for that, history!.