APRIL 6, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mental Illness and Policing in Brooklyn. Impact: The incident sparked a nationwide debate on police training, leading to the invention of a new app that connects officers with local residents before they even arrive on the scene. Unfortunately, the app was called 'Don't Shoot!' and was promptly hacked by pranksters.. Fact: Brooklyn is known for its vibrant community, but apparently that doesn't include the cops knowing who lives there. Who knew?.
• Headline: Cleric Doudi Faces Expulsion from France. Impact: The deportation of El Hadi Doudi led to a chain reaction of clerics rebranding themselves as 'moderate' just to avoid the same fate. This resulted in a rise of hipster imams who brew artisanal coffee while quoting the Quran.. Fact: Emmanuel Macron once considered starting a 'Radical Deportation' reality show but decided it was too controversial. Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Pep Guardiola's Transformative Impact at Manchester City. Impact: Pep Guardiola's influence on Manchester City not only transformed the team but also inspired a new trend in sports: coaches becoming fashion icons. Soon, you'll see coaches on the runway, strutting their stuff in designer tracksuits.. Fact: In a bizarre twist of fate, Guardiola's love for grass led to the world's first grass-themed fashion show, proving that even turf can be haute couture..
• Headline: Bright Lights, Big Shoulder Pads: A Timid Japan Recalls Its Bubble Era. Impact: Japan's nostalgia for the bubble era resulted in a worldwide resurgence of shoulder pads and neon colors, leading to the most confusing fashion revival since the 70s. Expect to see '80s-themed parties featuring karaoke with a side of economic crisis.. Fact: During the bubble era, Japan had so much money that it was rumored to have considered buying the moon. Spoiler alert: the deal fell through because of zoning laws..
• Headline: New York’s Corporate Mom-and-Pop Stores. Impact: The rise of corporate mom-and-pop stores led to a paradox: a small business model run by a faceless corporation, which somehow became a trend among hipsters looking to feel 'authentic' while shopping at big-box stores.. Fact: In New York, the term 'mom-and-pop' is often used ironically, as most of these stores are actually run by a conglomerate of bored MBA graduates in suits. Welcome to capitalism!.