APRIL 4, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Evan Rachel Wood's Journey of Healing. Impact: Evan Rachel Wood's bravery in sharing her story might just have inspired a future generation of superheroes who fight injustice not with capes, but with vulnerability. Watch out, next blockbuster—this time the hero is emotionally available!. Fact: Did you know that 'Westworld' was originally pitched as a fun family amusement park? Clearly, they decided to take a hard left into existential dread and trauma instead..
• Headline: New York Senate Democrats Unite Again. Impact: This reconciliation among New York Democrats could be the moment that finally ends the legendary saga of 'Who Can Complicate Simple Decisions the Most?'—a title held for decades by politicians everywhere!. Fact: Did you know that handshakes are still considered a valid form of legal agreement in some circles? Maybe next time, they should try a group hug for added warmth!.
• Headline: White House Tries to Tamp Down Trade War Fears as China Retaliates. Impact: If only the White House had used a crystal ball instead of wishful thinking, they might have avoided this trade war fiasco altogether. Spoiler alert: the crystal ball would have shown a lot of 'oops' moments!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'trade war' was almost replaced by 'economic pillow fight'? Unfortunately, it didn’t have the same dramatic flair..
• Headline: Facebook Says Cambridge Analytica Harvested Data of Up to 87 Million Users. Impact: The Cambridge Analytica scandal opened Pandora's Box for data privacy, leading to a future where your toaster might demand your consent before it makes your toast. Thanks, Facebook!. Fact: Did you know that Mark Zuckerberg's favorite way to communicate is through ambiguous statements and Congressional hearings? It's like a game of charades, but no one knows the rules..