MARCH 11, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Integrity in NCAA Tournament Selections. Impact: The N.C.A.A. selection committee's questionable integrity decisions led to an increase in shady backroom deals, resulting in a future where college athletes are offered pizza and video games for their loyalty instead of cash. Who knew a pizza party could alter the course of sports history?. Fact: Did you know that the N.C.A.A. actually stands for 'No Cash Allowed'? Yeah, because nothing says 'integrity' like a few hundred thousand dollars in sponsorships, right?.
• Headline: Tax Overhaul Challenges for G.O.P.. Impact: The rushed tax overhaul created a chain reaction of confusion, leading to businesses accidentally deducting their office coffee supplies as 'necessary operating expenses.' This new age of fiscal chaos ultimately resulted in the first-ever coffee bean tax, sparking a nationwide revolt.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Tax overhaul' is just a fancy term for 'let's see how many mistakes we can make in one go!'.
• Headline: Woodworker's Deception Deceives Experts. Impact: Harold Gordon's furniture fraud not only fooled experts but also inspired a whole line of DIY home improvement shows where people turn modern furniture into 'vintage' pieces, inadvertently causing a spike in hipster populations and overpriced thrift shops.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'one man's trash is another man's treasure' was actually coined after someone discovered Harold's 'antique'?.
• Headline: Rebecca Miller on the Mother of All Subjects: Her Father. Impact: Rebecca Miller's documentary about her father led to a cultural renaissance, where everyone suddenly decided they were related to a famous artist or writer, sparking a wave of completely bogus family trees and resulting in the first-ever 'Prove Your Artistry' reality show.. Fact: Did you know that Arthur Miller once said, 'A play is a series of events in the life of a character'? Clearly, he was not talking about family reunions..
• Headline: My Union or My President? Dueling Loyalties Mark Pennsylvania Race. Impact: The conflict of loyalties in Pennsylvania set off a domino effect that resulted in a nationwide series of 'who do I support?' quizzes on social media, leading to an entire generation being more invested in their online personas than their actual communities.. Fact: Fun fact: The special election became so intense that it was dubbed the 'Battle of the Budgets,' proving once again that politics is just the adult version of a schoolyard squabble..