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HEADLINES ON March 9, 2018
Full News Archive
- Headline: Trump's Tariff Strategy Explained. Impact: This tariff strategy led to the spontaneous formation of a new diplomatic sport: 'Negotiation Jenga,' where countries stack demands precariously, hoping one won’t topple the whole thing. Spoiler alert: it often does.. Fact: Did you know that 'Tariff' comes from the Italian 'tariffa,' meaning 'price list'? So, essentially, it's just a fancy way of saying 'let's make this as complicated as possible.'.
- Headline: Historic US-North Korea Nuclear Talks Initiated. Impact: This historic meeting set off a global trend of world leaders considering 'extreme diplomacy,' leading to a wildly popular reality show where heads of state negotiate over dinner while dodging pies.. Fact: Fun fact: Prior to this, the only thing more unheard of than a U.S. president meeting a North Korean leader was an actual unicorn sighting..
- Headline: G.O.P. Invests in Pennsylvania's Critical Race. Impact: This costly endeavor led to a new financial strategy in politics: 'throw money at it until it stops being a problem,' which soon inspired a new budgeting technique called 'the Trump Method.'. Fact: Did you know that in the world of politics, 'soon-to-vanish' often means 'we're definitely not losing this seat, just like we didn't lose our car keys last week?'.
- Headline: We Are What We Manufacture. Impact: Freeman's book inspired a generation of factory workers to start their own self-help groups, leading to a revival of the 'I Am What I Make' movement, which eventually included artisanal bread and bespoke soap.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Behemoth' is often used to describe something enormous? Kind of like the amount of stuff we produce that we don't actually need!.
- Headline: Merck C.E.O. Ken Frazier on Death Row Cases and the Corporate Soul. Impact: Frazier's remarks sparked a corporate soul-searching movement that led to C.E.O.s attending weekend retreats to 'find themselves'—unfortunately, many found themselves at the nearest golf course instead.. Fact: Interestingly, the phrase 'corporate soul' is often considered an oxymoron, much like 'jumbo shrimp' or 'government efficiency.'.