FEBRUARY 13, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Infrastructure Plan Reimagined. Impact: The moment Trump decided to outsource infrastructure to states, it didn't just create potholes; it birthed a whole new generation of 'DIY' road repair enthusiasts who think they can fix highways with duct tape and a YouTube tutorial. Thanks, federalism!. Fact: Did you know that for the cost of Trump's infrastructure plan, you could alternatively fund a fleet of unicorns? Just kidding, but that might actually solve some traffic problems!.
• Headline: High Turnover at the Trump White House. Impact: The revolving door at the White House means that even a hamster on a wheel has more job security than the staffers in Trump's administration. This led to the modern phenomenon of 'job-hopping,' where people start at the White House and end up as baristas in less than a month.. Fact: Did you know the average lifespan of a White House staffer during this period could be measured in coffee cups consumed? Talk about a caffeinated career!.
• Headline: Germans Quietly Pass an Equinox of Unity, but the Walls Remain. Impact: The quiet passage of the Equinox of Unity is reminiscent of a bad breakup: the wall may be gone, but the emotional baggage is definitely still there. This led to a generation of Germans who now have to navigate awkward family reunions across the old divide.. Fact: Did you know that the Berlin Wall was originally built to keep people in? Apparently, there was a booming market for 'freedom' that they just couldn't compete with!.
• Headline: Adam Rippon on Quiet Starvation in Men’s Figure Skating. Impact: Adam Rippon's comments on body image in figure skating opened Pandora's box, leading to a worldwide movement where male skaters began to embrace their quirks instead of hiding behind sequined costumes. Who knew that a little honesty could lead to so much glittering empowerment?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more difficult than landing a triple axel is finding a pair of figure skates that fit without making you feel like a cardboard box?.