FEBRUARY 11, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mikaela Shiffrin's Ambitious Gold Quest. Impact: If Mikaela Shiffrin wins those golds, she might just inspire a new generation of ski enthusiasts, leading to an influx of ski resorts that ultimately destabilize the delicate ecosystem of the Alps. Who knew skiing could cause an environmental crisis?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing crazier than Mikaela aiming for three golds is the fact that I still can’t ski without resembling a flailing octopus?.
• Headline: France's Young Female President on Screen. Impact: With a young, centrist female president gracing French TV, we're one step closer to a reality where politicians are actually relatable. Next thing you know, they’ll be posting TikToks about their policies while doing the latest dance challenge.. Fact: Fun fact: Macron's presidency has inspired so many memes that it’s practically a new form of political discourse. Who needs debates when you have gifs?.
• Headline: Russia’s Olympic Spirit Ignites in Seoul. Impact: The fervor in South Korea might just be the catalyst for a future where nationalism and sports become a global soap opera, with plot twists that can rival Game of Thrones. Just wait until the next World Cup!. Fact: Did you know that nationalism and sports celebrations are basically the adult version of kids fighting over the last cookie? Everyone wants to feel special, even if it means waving a flag at inappropriate times..
• Headline: At This Film Institute, the Course Material Is Killer. Impact: The Miskatonic Institute could inadvertently spark a horror renaissance that leads to a genre war—romance fans vs. horror fans in an epic showdown. Spoiler alert: horror wins every time.. Fact: Did you know that if you watch horror films while studying at this institute, you’re technically getting a degree in ‘screaming at the screen’?.
• Headline: F.D.A. Chief Goes Against the Administration Stereotype. Impact: Dr. Scott Gottlieb's defiance might just lead to a chain reaction where other government officials start thinking for themselves. Next thing we know, they'll be wearing capes and fighting the forces of bureaucracy.. Fact: Did you know that the FDA’s motto should probably be ‘We’re not as bad as you think’? It’s a low bar, but hey, at least they cleared it!.