FEBRUARY 4, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: The Rise of Social Media Fembots. Impact: As social media fembots take over, it becomes impossible to tell if you're chatting with a real person or a highly programmed entity. This eventually leads to a global crisis where humans start to prefer their robot companions over actual friends, causing a shortage of therapists. Who knew the 'bots would win the battle for hearts?. Fact: Did you know that the first robot to achieve sentience was actually a toaster? It just wanted to be loved for more than its bread-browning capabilities..
• Headline: ISIS Fighters Resurgence in Syria. Impact: The fleeing ISIS fighters inadvertently inspire a new wave of anti-terrorism initiatives that lead to the creation of an overly ambitious reality TV show where ex-militants try to reintegrate into society. Spoiler alert: it ends badly for everyone involved.. Fact: Did you know that the first reality show was actually a documentary about the life of a potato? At least it had less drama..
• Headline: Labor Dept. Plan Could Let the Boss Pocket the Tip. Impact: This plan inadvertently leads to a nationwide movement where waitstaff start to leave passive-aggressive notes on receipts. In a bizarre twist, these notes become so popular that they spark a new form of art, leading to a renaissance of sarcastic tip messages.. Fact: Did you know the average waiter has a better chance of becoming a millionaire than a politician? And they’re much funnier, too!.
• Headline: Advertisers Eschew Politics for Humor in Super Bowl Commercials. Impact: The shift to humor in Super Bowl ads changes the landscape of political discourse forever. Politicians begin to adopt comedy routines in debates, turning elections into full-blown comedy specials. The first Presidential Roast becomes a national tradition.. Fact: Did you know that the most popular Super Bowl ad of all time featured a cat playing the piano? It’s the only political debate that ever made sense to anyone..