JANUARY 20, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Government Shutdown Amid Trump Era News Cycles. Impact: In a shocking twist of fate, the government shutdown led to an unprecedented spike in avocado toast consumption among millennials, causing a nationwide shortage and a rise in avocado prices by 300%. Who knew a political crisis could change brunch forever?. Fact: Did you know that the average American spends more time on social media during a government shutdown than on actual government work? Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Trump and Schumer's Cheeseburger Negotiation. Impact: The cheeseburger deal that never was catalyzed a nationwide movement for fast food diplomacy, leading to the establishment of the 'Burgers Over Borders' initiative, which ultimately resolved multiple international conflicts through shared culinary experiences.. Fact: Fun fact: If Trump had actually signed the cheeseburger deal, it could have been the first time in history that a hamburger had more political influence than a senator!.
• Headline: Nicolle Wallace's Journey to MSNBC Stardom. Impact: Nicolle Wallace's transition from politics to TV journalism indirectly led to the rise of political punditry as a legitimate career, inspiring countless future commentators who would inevitably fill our screens with hot takes and questionable haircuts.. Fact: Did you know that before becoming a TV star, Wallace had a brief career in competitive ice skating? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that have been more interesting?.
• Headline: The National Rifle Association’s Telegenic Warrior. Impact: Dana Loesch's fiery rhetoric ignited a bizarre cultural phenomenon where people began to associate firearms with fashion, leading to the launch of a new line of bulletproof vests that became the must-have accessory for the trendy political activist.. Fact: Did you know that Dana Loesch once sold Girl Scout cookies? Imagine if she had taken that energy into politics—Troop Leader of the Year, anyone?.