JANUARY 5, 2018

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump Disbands Voter Fraud Panel. Impact: The disbanding of the voter fraud panel inadvertently paved the way for a nationwide obsession with conspiracy theories, leading to the birth of countless online communities that could've been avoided if only they had better hobbies.. Fact: Did you know that 'bickering' is actually a form of advanced diplomacy in the world of political panels? I guess they just couldn't get past the first stage..
• Headline: Ripple's Rise Surpasses Zuckerberg's Wealth. Impact: The rise of Ripple not only created a new wave of cryptocurrency wealth but also caused a minor existential crisis for Zuckerberg, leading him to consider options like a 'Zuckerberg Coin' to reclaim his title as the richest.. Fact: Fun fact: Ripple's logo is actually a stylized representation of people trying to explain cryptocurrency to their grandparents..
• Headline: Trump's Obstruction Inquiry Insights Revealed. Impact: Trump's struggle with the Russia investigation opened the door for a thousand memes and conspiracy theories, forever intertwining politics and comedy in a way that would confuse historians for centuries.. Fact: In the grand scheme of things, the term 'obstruction of justice' is just a fancy way of saying 'Oops, I did it again.'.
• Headline: How HQ Trivia Became the Best Worst Thing on the Internet. Impact: HQ Trivia's glitches and absurdity transformed it into a cultural phenomenon, leading to a future where trivia nights at bars became a competitive sport - complete with sponsorships and fan clubs.. Fact: Did you know that the creators of HQ Trivia originally intended for it to be a simple way to pass the time? Clearly, they underestimated humanity's capacity for addiction..
• Headline: The Struggling Artist at 86. Impact: Harry Bertschmann's late recognition sparked a renaissance for struggling artists everywhere, igniting the 'late-blooming artist' movement that would eventually lead to everyone and their dog declaring themselves an artist.. Fact: It's said that art is subjective, but in this case, it seems like Bertschmann just had a really long nap before waking up to fame!.