DECEMBER 29, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Deadly Bronx Fire Claims 12 Lives. Impact: This tragic event not only claimed lives but also initiated stricter fire safety regulations across the country, leading to the invention of the world's first inflatable fire escape, which is now a popular (and somewhat ridiculous) product in home improvement stores.. Fact: It's estimated that fire safety regulations have saved more lives than any superhero ever could. But then again, superheroes don’t have to deal with paperwork..
• Headline: The Costly Subway Track of New York. Impact: The revelation of the most expensive mile of subway track led to a nationwide investigation into infrastructure spending, resulting in a new trend of DIY subway building, where hipsters with Instagram accounts tried to carve out their own subway lines with artisanal tools.. Fact: New York City subway tracks are so expensive because they have a better wardrobe than most of us. Seriously, they’re dressed to the nines in gold-plated bolts!.
• Headline: Trump Says Russia Inquiry Makes U.S. ‘Look Very Bad’. Impact: Trump's comments on the Russia inquiry inadvertently ignited a new career path for conspiracy theorists, who began charging exorbitant fees for 'truth-seeking consultations' that involved a lot of tinfoil hats and questionable PowerPoint presentations.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more complicated than the Russian inquiry is the plot of a soap opera. And we all know how those end—dramatically, with lots of yelling..
• Headline: Iran and Saudis’ Latest Power Struggle: Expanding Rights for Women. Impact: This rivalry over women's rights led to an unexpected alliance between Iran and Saudi Arabia, resulting in a new reality show called 'Middle Eastern Makeover,' where they compete to see who can make the biggest strides in women’s rights while simultaneously arguing over the best camels.. Fact: Did you know that the first women's rights movement in the Middle East was started by women who just wanted to be able to drive? And now look where we are—debating who wins the best 'empowerment' award!.