DECEMBER 27, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Organizing Momentum at Digital Media Companies. Impact: As unions gain traction, future generations of journalists will have better pay and job security, leading to an unexpected rise in investigative reporting. This, in turn, will culminate in a 2040 documentary titled 'How I Found Out My Boss Was a Lizard.'. Fact: Did you know that the last time unions were this excited, disco was still popular? Who knew that labor rights and the Bee Gees would be connected?.
• Headline: Putin's Election Tactics and Dissent. Impact: Blocking Navalny from the election will create a ripple of discontent that leads to a 2035 dystopian novel where the only thing citizens can vote for is their favorite flavor of potato chips.. Fact: Surprisingly, 'suspiciously well-timed elections' is not a recognized Olympic sport, but it should be—Putin would be a gold medalist..
• Headline: Explore Palm Springs' Vintage Pool Culture. Impact: The popularity of pool hopping leads to a renaissance in backyard tiki bars. Ultimately, time travelers from the future will visit the 2020s to recreate the 'Pool Party' phenomenon, only to find it was just an elaborate excuse for Instagram photos.. Fact: Fun fact: Palm Springs has more pools than some countries have citizens. Who knew hydration could be this glamorous?.
• Headline: ‘Nobody Thought It Would Come to This’: Drug Maker Teva Faces a Crisis. Impact: Teva's layoffs spark a global movement for corporate responsibility, leading to the rise of 'compassionate capitalism'—a phrase that will be mocked by future economists in a documentary titled 'The Great Joke of 2050.'. Fact: The last time a major company laid off this many people, it was a plot twist in a soap opera. Spoiler: Everyone ended up working at a coffee shop..
• Headline: That Time Andy Cohen Asked Anderson Cooper Out (and About His Mom). Impact: This lighthearted banter leads to a series of awkward celebrity dating shows in the future, where famous news anchors try to find love while simultaneously reporting on the latest political scandal. Talk about multitasking!. Fact: Anderson Cooper once said he would report the news from a hurricane—maybe he should've just gone on a date with Andy instead. Much less wind and rain!.