DECEMBER 20, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Republicans Unite for Tax Reform. Impact: The tax plan passed, causing a ripple effect where wealthy individuals felt compelled to buy more yachts, leading to a global yacht shortage in 2025. Who knew tax cuts could sink the seas?. Fact: Did you know that tax plans are like diets? Everyone talks about them, but very few actually stick to them!.
• Headline: Uber's Legal Challenges in Europe. Impact: Uber’s new classification caused an underground rise in 'illegal' taxi services, where drivers began adopting pirate personas and shouting 'Arrr!' at unsuspecting passengers. Talk about a ride with a twist!. Fact: Did you know that before Uber, people actually had to hail taxis with their hands? How barbaric!.
• Headline: How Cuts in Basic Subway Upkeep Can Make Your Commute Miserable. Impact: Thanks to subway maintenance cuts, more people turned to walking or biking, leading to the rise of urban hipsters who now consider themselves 'exercise influencers.'. Fact: Did you know the subway is like a fine wine? Both require proper upkeep to avoid a bad taste in your mouth!.
• Headline: In Protests of Net Neutrality Repeal, Teenage Voices Stood Out. Impact: The teenage protests sparked a new trend where every 16-year-old now believes they are a political activist, resulting in a 2020s generation that can quote legislation better than their own grades.. Fact: Did you know that teenagers protesting is just their way of practicing for their future careers in 'adulting'?.