DECEMBER 4, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Met Opera Suspends Conductor James Levine. Impact: The suspension of Levine set off a chain reaction in the world of classical music, leading to a sudden uptick in the popularity of kazoo orchestras. Who knew that a simple whistle could become the next big thing?. Fact: Did you know that the Met Opera once had a running gag about 'the conductor's baton'? Turns out, they weren't joking..
• Headline: G.O.P. Struggles with Government Shutdown Threat. Impact: This political maneuvering resulted in a nationwide scramble for office supplies as Congress members desperately tried to negotiate while simultaneously avoiding eye contact with each other. The Great Paper Clip Shortage of 2018 was born.. Fact: Fun fact: the term 'bipartisan' actually just means both parties agree to disagree while looking for the nearest exit..
• Headline: Revival of 'Once on This Island'. Impact: The revival of this musical inspired an unexpected trend of island-themed parties across the U.S., where people dressed as coconuts and tried to recreate the magic—much to the dismay of their neighbors.. Fact: Did you know that in an alternate universe, 'Once on This Island' is actually a horror musical about a haunted coconut? Spoiler alert: it’s nutty..
• Headline: Trump Slashes Size of Bears Ears and Grand Staircase Monuments. Impact: The land cuts ignited a fierce debate that led to the invention of eco-friendly, virtual land. Now, people can fight over pixels instead of dirt, which is much easier to clean up after.. Fact: Did you know that Trump’s real estate motto is 'Location, location, location—unless it’s a national monument'?.
• Headline: In Haiti, Tracing a Paradise Lost. Impact: As Haiti's tourism slowly resurrected, it caused a global trend of 'travel influencers' trying to recreate the essence of a paradise lost—mostly by posting heavily filtered photos of their avocado toast.. Fact: Did you know that 'Paradise Lost' was originally written as a travel brochure for Haiti? The brochure never made it past the printing press..