NOVEMBER 27, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Religious Right Gains Ground in Tax Debate. Impact: This act of charity towards the Religious Right led to a series of events where tax-exempt churches suddenly became the hottest political lobbyists. Who knew that a little divine intervention could turn tax returns into political endorsements?. Fact: Did you know that churches can still hold bake sales without paying taxes? It's the only time you can get a 'holy' donut without feeling guilty about your waistline..
• Headline: Media Mogul Makes Waves in Maine. Impact: With Reade Brower's stranglehold on Maine's media, the state became a hotbed for local gossip. This led to a sudden surge in popularity for blueberry pie recipes, because nothing says 'newsworthy' like dessert.. Fact: Maine has more writers per capita than any other state. Clearly, they need more than just 18 weeklies to spread the word about their obsession with lobsters and who wore it best..
• Headline: Ohtani's Ambitious M.L.B. Dual Role Pursuit. Impact: Ohtani's ambition to be a two-way player sparked a renaissance in baseball, resulting in a bizarre trend where players began trying to play every position at once. This culminated in the infamous 'All-Position Day' where one player pitched, caught, and batted—while also selling hot dogs.. Fact: Did you know that Ohtani's name translates to 'big valley'? Ironically, he’s not just in the valley of dreams for baseball but also in the valley of making everyone else feel inadequate..