NOVEMBER 9, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate GOP Tax Reform Proposal Limits Deductions. Impact: This tax rewrite led to a series of economic shifts, where millionaires suddenly needed a larger yacht to feel special, while the rest of the population debated whether to splurge on avocado toast or save for retirement. This eventually resulted in a worldwide avocado shortage, leading to a black market for the trendy fruit.. Fact: Did you know that tax codes are like a game of Monopoly? Everyone thinks they can win, but somehow, the rich always end up with hotels on Boardwalk while the rest of us are stuck in jail..
• Headline: Government Action and Trump’s Rhetoric Collide. Impact: The AT&T deal saga showed the world that even conglomerates can fall victim to political drama. This ultimately inspired a new reality TV show: 'Survivor: Corporate Edition,' where CEOs compete for the title of 'Most Likely to Dodge a Lawsuit' while dodging questions about stocks.. Fact: Isn’t it fascinating that the Justice Department is treating media companies like chess pieces? Next, we might see a game of 'Capture the CNN' as a new Olympic sport!.
• Headline: Trump Ignores Climate Change. That’s Very Bad for Disaster Planners.. Impact: Ignoring climate change allowed disaster planners to prepare for the worst while continuing to pretend that reality was just a quirky plot twist in a bad sci-fi movie. This led to unforeseen shortages in disaster supplies and a rise in the popularity of DIY survival kits—because who doesn’t want to build a bunker in their backyard?. Fact: Fun fact: FEMA’s motto should really be 'Better late than never,' especially when it comes to preparing for disasters that have been predicted for decades..
• Headline: Trump, Aiming to Coax Xi Jinping, Bets on Flattery. Impact: Trump's flattery towards Xi Jinping created a diplomatic dance that, although awkward, led to a new trend in international relations where leaders started using charm bracelets instead of sanctions. This eventually culminated in a global competition for the best diplomatic compliment.. Fact: Who knew that buttering someone up could be a political strategy? At this rate, we might as well throw in a few cookie platters and call it a summit!.