NOVEMBER 6, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Terrorism Tactics and Social Media Influence. Impact: In a world where tweets can outpace the speed of light, this attack prompted social media companies to implement stricter regulations on content moderation. Fast forward a few years, we now have a meme-based anti-terrorism campaign that has inadvertently turned into a viral dance challenge. Thanks, ISIS!. Fact: Did you know that if social media existed during the French Revolution, we'd have seen live tweets of guillotine executions? #NoFilter.
• Headline: Knee Ligament Injury and Future Arthritis Risk. Impact: This revelation about knee ligaments sparked a global surge in yoga and alternative medicine practices. By 2030, entire cities were renamed after essential oils, and 'Arthritis Awareness Month' became a month-long yoga festival. Who knew a ligament could change the urban landscape?. Fact: Did you know that a torn ligament can lead to arthritis? And here I was thinking my knees were just protesting against my bad dance moves!.
• Headline: Xi's Bid for Global Leadership Equality. Impact: Xi's pursuit of global leadership led to a bizarre series of diplomatic 'power-sharing' agreements, including joint leadership of a global taco stand. If only every superpower could bond over guacamole, world peace might be just a tortilla away.. Fact: Did you know that the last time world leaders tried to share power, it ended with a game of rock-paper-scissors? Spoiler: the paper won..
• Headline: Broadcom Targets Qualcomm in Largest-Ever Tech Deal. Impact: This tech deal sparked a chain reaction of corporate espionage that ultimately led to the creation of a secret society of chipmakers, who now rule the tech world from a hidden lair under Silicon Valley. They communicate only in binary and the occasional dad joke.. Fact: Did you know that 'Broadcom' sounds like a dystopian future where all food is made from chips? Let's hope they don't start flavoring them with regret..
• Headline: The New York Fed Chief Is Stepping Down — but Not Quietly. Impact: Dudley's dramatic exit led to a chaotic scramble for leadership at the New York Fed, resulting in a new policy that mandated all Fed meetings to include a mandatory karaoke session. Because why not mix finance with a little Michael Jackson?. Fact: Did you know that stepping down quietly is so last century? Now, it's all about making an exit that's worthy of a Broadway show!.