OCTOBER 25, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Republicans Split Over Trump's Influence. Impact: This call to arms sparked a chain reaction that led to a new wave of political rhetoric, ultimately resulting in every American feeling the urge to armchair quarterback politics from their sofas while binge-watching reality TV.. Fact: Did you know that couch cushions have more opinions on politics than most elected officials?.
• Headline: Xi Jinping Thought Enshrined in China. Impact: By elevating Xi Jinping to Mao-like status, the world witnessed an unexpected rise in 'Cultural Revolution' themed escape rooms, where participants must figure out how to escape from historical irony.. Fact: If you think your leader is all-powerful now, just wait until they get their own chapter in the next edition of 'How to Be a Dictator 101'!.
• Headline: Consumer Bureau's Class-Action Restriction Overturned. Impact: This ruling opened the floodgates for class-action suits, allowing consumers to band together like a superhero team of disgruntled citizens—because nothing says 'justice' like a bunch of people sharing a collective grievance.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time Congress had a fight that didn't involve consumer protection, they were merely arguing over who had the best lunch in the cafeteria..
• Headline: Laura Ingraham Is Ready to Rev Up Fox News. Impact: Ingraham's rise at Fox News catapulted the network into a new era of sensationalism, eventually inspiring a reality show where politicians compete in a game of who can create the most outrageous headline.. Fact: Surprisingly, there are still fewer plot twists on Fox News than in your average soap opera—at least those have character development!.
• Headline: Square, the Twitter Boss’s Other Company, Could Pass It in Value. Impact: Square's rise in value led to a financial renaissance where everyone suddenly became an expert in mobile payments, resulting in baristas offering investment advice along with your latte.. Fact: Did you know that only 1 in 10 people can accurately explain what a blockchain is? The other 9 just nod and smile while praying their coffee doesn't get cold..