OCTOBER 22, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Astros Clinch World Series Spot in Game 7. Impact: If the Astros hadn't made it to the World Series, the entire concept of 'Houston Strong' might have been replaced with 'Houston Mediocre.' Who knew one baseball game could alter the city's collective spirit?. Fact: Did you know that the Yankees actually invented the term 'running out of gas'? They just didn't think it would apply to a baseball game!.
• Headline: Survival of the Newseum: A Financial Dilemma. Impact: The Newseum's struggle is a classic case of 'If you build it, they will come,' but apparently, they didn't realize 'they' meant nobody with a wallet. This could lead to a dystopian future where we all have to read news on stone tablets again.. Fact: Fun fact: The Newseum is the only museum where you can experience the thrill of journalism while also feeling the crushing weight of its impending doom!.
• Headline: Julien Baker's Journey of Vulnerability. Impact: Julien Baker's brave album will likely inspire a wave of 'radical vulnerability' across the music industry, leading to a potential spike in therapy sessions and a decline in the sales of self-help books—you're welcome, world!. Fact: Did you know that 'radical vulnerability' is just a fancy way of saying 'I cried while writing this song'?.
• Headline: Xi Jinping Pushes China’s Rise Despite Friction and Fear. Impact: Xi Jinping's aggressive push could very well lead to a new world order where everyone speaks Mandarin, and 'friction and fear' become the standard terms for international relations. Welcome to the future, where you can't even order takeout without a translator!. Fact: Fun fact: Xi Jinping's favorite movie is 'The Godfather,' so you might say he's taking 'the family business' very seriously!.