OCTOBER 20, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Caligula's Mosaic Seized in Manhattan. Impact: If that coffee table could talk, it would probably spill more tea than any royal scandal. Imagine the dinner parties discussing how a piece of Caligula's ship ended up in a New York loft instead of on a museum pedestal. Thus, the world of antiquities was forever changed, as now every hipster in Brooklyn thinks their IKEA table might be a lost artifact.. Fact: Did you know that Caligula once tried to make his horse a consul? So, it’s fitting that a piece of his ship was repurposed as a coffee table—because nothing says 'class' like sipping lattes on a throne of questionable heritage..
• Headline: Puerto Rico's Power Struggle Post-Maria. Impact: The prolonged blackout led to a surge in candle-making businesses, inadvertently igniting a new trend in artisanal lighting. Who knew that darkness could inspire such creativity? Meanwhile, the mantra 'We have power issues' was adopted as a new national motto.. Fact: Did you know that Puerto Rico has been without consistent power long before Maria? It's almost like they were training for this moment in a bizarre survival reality show called 'Extreme Blackout: Island Edition.'.
• Headline: Emotion and Humor in 'Torch Song' Revival. Impact: This revival sparked a new wave of emotional comedies, leading to a bizarre era where every family gathering turned into a heartfelt musical number, making Thanksgiving way more dramatic than necessary.. Fact: Did you know that Harvey Fierstein’s voice is so distinctive that it has its own gravitational pull? If you hear it, you know you’re about to get an earful of both laughs and life lessons..
• Headline: Power, Corruption and Murder Roil Little Guyana. Impact: The murder case not only led to a local crackdown on crime but also inspired a Netflix documentary series, which inadvertently glorified the chaos, proving once again that tragedy + camera = profit.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'power struggle' can actually mean a wrestling match for control of the TV remote in many households? This event, however, took it to a whole new level..
• Headline: The Long Story of the Movement Toward College Cost Clarity. Impact: This push for transparency in college costs eventually led to a nationwide shortage of coffee because students were too busy deciphering their financial aid packages instead of doing what they actually went to college for: procrastinating.. Fact: Did you know that navigating college costs is so complicated that it has its own dedicated GPS system? It's called 'Google,' and it works about as well as your last group project..