OCTOBER 9, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Russians in Silicon Valley: Hacking Reputation. Impact: As Russian engineers and developers continue to innovate in Silicon Valley, their reputation for hacking morphs into a future where tech conferences have mandatory 'No Hacking' signs. This leads to the rise of a new career: Professional Hacking Apologizers.. Fact: If you think hacking is a recent phenomenon, think again! The original hack was probably just someone trying to make a better wheel 5,000 years ago. Spoiler alert: it didn't go well..
• Headline: Iger's Surprising Political Potential. Impact: Iger's pivot to politics triggers a chain reaction where animated characters start running for office. In 2024, a Disney princess wins the presidency, promising free universal pixie dust for all.. Fact: Did you know that 'Iger' is actually a reverse anagram for 'Geri'—the ultimate Disney villain who secretly plans to take over the world with animated mice?.
• Headline: Qatar Has a World Cup Date. It Still Needs a World-Class Team.. Impact: Qatar's struggle to form a world-class team leads to a bizarre twist of fate where they accidentally recruit a squad of retired soccer legends, causing a global outcry when they win the World Cup—at 90 years old.. Fact: Did you know that Qatar, despite having vast oil wealth, once tried to host a World Cup in a sandpit? Turns out, they were just really bad at reading maps..