SEPTEMBER 29, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bronx School Stabbing Incident Unfolds. Impact: If this teenager hadn't felt bullied, who knows? Maybe they would have become the next great motivational speaker instead of a headline. Or maybe they would have just continued to be a troubled teen, but at least in an alternate timeline, they could have been a TikTok influencer promoting self-love instead of violence.. Fact: Did you know that bullying has been around since the dawn of humanity? It's almost like we just can’t seem to figure out how to treat each other nicely—what a shock!.
• Headline: China and South Korea's Trade Relations Flourish. Impact: This trade love-hate relationship between China and South Korea might just lead to the creation of a new K-drama: 'When Opposites Attract... but Not Really.' Spoiler alert: there will be lots of misunderstandings and passive-aggressive comments.. Fact: Did you know that while China and South Korea argue, their citizens are basically dating through commerce? It's like a really awkward couple's therapy session, but with more electronics..
• Headline: Cuban Doctors' Defiance in Brazil. Impact: This revolt may just inspire a wave of independent contractor movements, leading to a future where doctors everywhere demand to work without red tape. In a few decades, we might see medical professionals driving around in their own branded vans—'Dr. Feelgood: House Calls with a Side of Freedom!'. Fact: Did you know that Cuba's medical system has been compared to a game of Monopoly? Everyone's playing, but no one gets to actually buy anything—they just keep passing Go without collecting $200..
• Headline: Man of ‘Gotham’ Returns. Impact: If 'Gotham' continues to be a hit, it could lead to an entire franchise of historical books, igniting a wave of nerdy historians fighting over who can create the next 1,400-page history of their favorite city. Get ready for 'Los Angeles: The 2,000-Page Saga.'. Fact: Did you know that the longer the book, the more readers will pretend to have read it? 'Oh yes, I loved Volume I. Couldn't put it down!' Spoiler: they probably didn't even open it..
• Headline: Preparing Your Home for a Disaster. Impact: This push for disaster preparedness might lead to the rise of a new industry: Disaster Prep Reality Shows! Imagine the drama as contestants race to stockpile water and canned goods. The winner gets a lifetime supply of ramen and a bunker in the suburbs.. Fact: Did you know that the most prepared people for disasters are often the same ones who hoard toilet paper? Because nothing says 'I’m ready for the apocalypse' like an 18-month supply of Charmin..