SEPTEMBER 20, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate Republicans Prioritize Tax Cuts Over Budget. Impact: The $1.5 trillion tax cut led to a massive increase in the federal deficit, which eventually resulted in a nationwide pancake shortage due to increased demand for cheap breakfast options. Who knew that cutting taxes would lead to people hoarding syrup?. Fact: Did you know that if you stack $1.5 trillion in $100 bills, it would reach the moon... and back again... several times? But hey, who needs fiscal responsibility when you can have tax cuts?.
• Headline: GOP Pushes ACA Repeal Amidst Opposition. Impact: The defiance against bipartisan opposition actually created a new genre of movies: 'Political Thrillers Where Everyone Loses.' Spoiler alert: they all lose, and the audience is left wondering why they spent money on the ticket.. Fact: Did you know that bipartisan opposition is like a two-headed monster? You can’t please either side, and you'll still end up with a bunch of angry voters. Welcome to the political circus!.
• Headline: Documenta's Financial Woes in Greece. Impact: The bailout of Documenta caused a ripple effect in the art world that led to several other art exhibitions desperately searching for government funding, which in turn inspired a new trend: 'Artistic GoFundMe' campaigns featuring sad selfies of artists in dire need.. Fact: Did you know that art exhibitions are just like your college roommate? They start with big dreams and end up needing a bailout... and a lot of takeout..
• Headline: Before Wisconsin, Foxconn Vowed Big Spending in Brazil. Few Jobs Have Come.. Impact: Foxconn’s struggles in Brazil sparked a global debate on outsourcing, which eventually led to a 'Save the Local Job' movement that ironically made people more dependent on imported gadgets, like the latest smartphone that doesn’t work without Wi-Fi.. Fact: Did you know that Foxconn's motto should really be 'We promise big, but deliver small'? Kind of like that friend who always says they'll help you move but somehow disappears on moving day..
• Headline: Where the Wild Things Are: China’s Art Dreamers at the Guggenheim. Impact: The showcase of China’s avant-garde artists in a prestigious venue like the Guggenheim inspired a global trend where every country tried to show off its 'artistic rebels,' leading to a bizarre competition of who could produce the most confusing installations.. Fact: Did you know that avant-garde art is just a fancy way of saying, 'I could have done that, but I didn’t'? It’s like the ultimate excuse for procrastination in the art world..