SEPTEMBER 17, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Emmys Celebrate Politics and Powerful Performances. Impact: Little did they know, the Emmys would become the new political battleground. Instead of just critiquing shows, they inadvertently paved the way for future awards to become a platform for every celebrity to express their political opinions, leading to a world where Oscar speeches are more like State of the Union addresses. Fact: Did you know that ‘S.N.L.’ used to just be about comedy? Now it’s basically a political think tank with sketches that are funnier than actual politicians.
• Headline: Holocaust Museum's Syria Research Controversy. Impact: This event proved that attempting to draw parallels between historical atrocities and current conflicts is like trying to mix oil and water – except the oil is made of outrage and the water of historical context. As a result, future museums might just stick to displaying artifacts instead of trying to educate the public on sensitive topics. Fact: The Holocaust Museum was originally designed to educate, not to ignite Twitter wars. Who knew history could be so controversial?.
• Headline: Rohingya Resistance Amidst Destruction. Impact: This determination led to a cycle of conflict that drew in international attention, which ultimately resulted in all parties involved becoming tangled in a web of geopolitics, humanitarian crises, and relentless social media hashtags that would make even the most seasoned activists roll their eyes. Fact: The Rohingya crisis has been so disastrous that even the phrase 'conflict resolution' has taken a vacation and left the building.
• Headline: Who’d Create a P.R. Crisis on Purpose? Well, Only the Sweat Was Real. Impact: This event set a precedent that companies could create their own controversies for publicity. It’s now a rite of passage for brands to stir the pot, leading to a future where the phrase ‘any publicity is good publicity’ is tattooed on every marketing intern's forehead. Fact: Before this, ‘P.R. crisis’ was just a fancy way to say ‘oops, we messed up.’ Now it’s a marketing strategy!.
• Headline: The Rare, Potent Fuel Powering North Korea’s Weapons. Impact: The discovery of this fuel source led to an arms race that not only put North Korea on the map (in the worst way possible) but also made every country invest more in their own secret weapons programs, because, you know, nothing says peace like a well-stocked arsenal. Fact: North Korea's idea of power is such that they might as well be trying to fuel a rocket to Mars. Spoiler: They're just not the best at it.