SEPTEMBER 13, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Debate Over Refugee Quota at the White House. Impact: By lowering the refugee quota, the administration inadvertently sets off a chain reaction of global dissatisfaction, leading to the rise of a new underground movement: 'Refugees on Rollerblades'—a group of activists who rollerblade through cities advocating for open borders. Their viral TikToks shift public opinion faster than a politician can backtrack on a promise.. Fact: Did you know that during debates in the White House, officials often use 'lowering the quota' as code for 'let's pretend we're doing something important'?.
• Headline: Exploring Connection in Working-Class Drama. Impact: This play, exploring family dreams and disappointments, leads to an increase in therapy sessions as three generations suddenly realize their family history is less 'Leave it to Beaver' and more 'Leave me be, I'm going to the therapist'.. Fact: Fun fact: 'On the Shore of the Wide World' is also what many people think of when they try to describe their last family reunion..
• Headline: Bitcoin Mining in Inner Mongolia's Grasslands. Impact: The rise of Bitcoin mining in Inner Mongolia not only leads to a digital fortune for miners but also inspires a new generation of tech-savvy nomads who believe they can mine Bitcoin from anywhere, including their parents' basements. This ultimately leads to a global shortage of snacks in basements due to excessive munching during long mining sessions.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'digital fortune' is often followed by 'but my parents still don't think I'm successful'?.
• Headline: As German Election Looms, Politicians Face Voters’ Wrath for Ties to Carmakers. Impact: As politicians scramble to distance themselves from the auto industry's scandals, a new political party is born: the 'Car-Free Coalition'. Their first campaign promises to replace all cars with bicycles, leading to an unexpected increase in helmet sales and a dramatic decrease in late-night fast food runs.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more toxic than the car emissions crisis is the politicians' spin on their ties to the auto industry?.
• Headline: Angelina Jolie, Unbroken. Impact: Angelina Jolie's film about Cambodian genocide causes a worldwide trend of introspection, leading to couples everywhere questioning their relationships while binge-watching her movies. This explosion of self-reflection inadvertently results in a spike in DIY divorce kits sold online.. Fact: Did you know that Angelina Jolie's family discussions often include a heartfelt debate on who played the most tragic character—her in front of the camera or her in front of the tabloids?.