SEPTEMBER 12, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Florida Struggles Post-Irma: Recovery Begins. Impact: In a bizarre twist, the aftermath of Irma caused an influx of new homeowners who decided that living without power and in a flooding zone was the new chic lifestyle. This led to a rise in hipster coffee shops selling organic, hurricane-themed lattes. Who knew chaos would be trendy?. Fact: Hurricanes are the universe's way of reminding Floridians that they live in a tropical paradise where the weather can turn hostile at any moment. Kind of like a bad blind date..
• Headline: Debate on Hurricane Price Gouging. Impact: The price gouging debate triggered a nationwide movement where people started hoarding toilet paper in preparation for any future crisis. Little did they know, this would lead to the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020, a true testament to human priorities.. Fact: Economists say not to worry about price gouging, but it turns out, when people are desperate, they'd rather pay $20 for a bottle of water than risk dehydration. Because nothing says 'survival' like overpriced Aquafina..
• Headline: Hurricane Irma's Impact on Florida Keys. Impact: The resilience of the Florida Keys became a rallying point for future disaster recovery efforts, inspiring a new breed of motivational speakers who now tour the country, teaching people how to ‘bounce back’ from adversity, all while sipping piña coladas.. Fact: The Florida Keys are known for their beauty, but after Irma, they became relics of survival—turning into a tourist attraction for thrill-seekers wanting to see 'the aftermath' up close. Nothing says vacation like a post-hurricane photo op!.
• Headline: Chief Executive of Social Finance, an Online Lending Start-Up, to Step Down. Impact: Cagney's departure from Social Finance sent shockwaves through the startup world, leading to a temporary ban on all male CEOs. This ban lasted precisely 12 hours until someone pointed out that it was impractical. The irony was palpable.. Fact: Sexual harassment claims in startups are as common as avocado toast in hipster cafes. It's almost like they should include a warning label: 'Caution: may cause discomfort and potential lawsuits.'.