AUGUST 31, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Heroic Survival Amid Hurricane Harvey. Impact: If that little girl hadn't clung to her 'Mama' like a life raft, we might have never realized that mothers can literally save lives. Future generations now have a new motto: 'Hold on tighter!' It's slightly less catchy than 'Live, Laugh, Love,' but way more practical.. Fact: The real tragedy is that the 'Mama' in question probably didn't have a contingency plan for floods. Note to all parents: maybe get a boat, just in case..
• Headline: Houston's Reckoning After Hurricane Harvey. Impact: Houston pondering its limits is like a toddler realizing they can't eat an entire cake in one sitting. Spoiler alert: They totally try it anyway, and the aftermath is always a mess. This existential crisis might just lead to a nationwide 'Growth is Overrated' movement.. Fact: Houston's motto might as well be 'More is more!' But now they are learning that sometimes, less is actually more... like less water everywhere!.
• Headline: Small Towns Face Harvey's Wrath. Impact: As Houston picks up the pieces, small towns become the unsuspecting victims in this game of 'who's next?' People are starting to believe that the storms are just trolling us, moving from big cities to small towns like it's a twisted game of musical chairs.. Fact: Small towns across America are now considering themselves the 'next big thing' in disaster tourism. Who wouldn't want to visit a town that survived Hurricane Harvey? It's the new badge of honor!.
• Headline: Review: In ‘Inanimate,’ a Forbidden Love Dares to Speak Its Name. Impact: The play 'Inanimate' could spark a new trend where emotions are expressed not just for humans, but for household objects. Get ready for a future where people are marrying their coffee makers and declaring their love on social media.. Fact: Objectophilia might just be the next big thing, but let's hope it doesn't take off in the age of self-driving cars. Imagine the heartbreak when your car decides it prefers someone else!.
• Headline: Diana’s Legacy: A Reshaped Monarchy, a More Emotional U.K.. Impact: Diana's legacy reshaping the monarchy might be the royal equivalent of getting a makeover after a bad breakup. It turns out, a little emotional vulnerability can go a long way—who knew the British public had a soft spot for feelings?. Fact: Twenty years later, and the royal family is still trying to figure out how to be human. Next up: Royal therapy sessions broadcasted live on TV. Ratings gold!.