AUGUST 27, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hezbollah's Role in Iran's Mideast Strategy. Impact: Hezbollah's rise as the Arab enforcer led to a series of alliances and rivalries that reshaped the geopolitical landscape, sparking a chain reaction that eventually resulted in a global shortage of hummus due to all the fighting over who gets to dip first.. Fact: Hezbollah actually means 'Party of God,' but it could also be interpreted as 'Party of Really Complicated Politics.'.
• Headline: Uber Appoints New CEO Dara Khosrowshahi. Impact: Dara Khosrowshahi's appointment at Uber not only transformed the company's leadership but also inadvertently led to the invention of the 'Uber-lympics', where people compete to see who can get a ride to the most obscure location in the least amount of time.. Fact: Khosrowshahi took over after Kalanick, whose departure was as dramatic as a reality TV show finale—complete with dramatic music and a lot of yelling..
• Headline: Presidential Attendance at Kennedy Center Honors. Impact: Trump's absence from the Kennedy Center Honors set a precedent for future presidents, leading to an annual tradition of avoiding awkward social gatherings, which eventually resulted in a thriving market for 'Presidential No-Show' greeting cards.. Fact: Skipping the Kennedy Center Honors might just become the new trend for politicians—who needs culture when you can binge-watch reality TV instead?.
• Headline: A Game You Can Control With Your Mind. Impact: The brain-computer interface technology fueled a surge of interest in telepathy, leading to a bizarre trend where people started trying to control their friends' minds to avoid social obligations, resulting in an increase in the use of 'mind control' as a legitimate excuse for not attending parties.. Fact: While controlling machines with your mind sounds cool, it’s probably best to keep your thoughts focused on not accidentally ordering 27 pizzas instead..