AUGUST 26, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Trump's Controversial Pardon of Joe Arpaio. Impact: If Arpaio's pardon hadn't happened, maybe we would have seen fewer 'America's Toughest Sheriff' merchandise sales, leading to a decline in novelty item shops. Imagine a world without sheriff-themed coffee mugs!. Fact: Pardoning someone is like giving them a free pass to the amusement park of lawlessness. Who knew the presidency came with so many discounts?.
• Headline: James Staley's Troubling Tenure at Barclays. Impact: James Staley's unfortunate series of events led to a ripple effect where future CEOs might just think twice before using email as a primary communication tool. Perhaps they’ll stick to carrier pigeons instead.. Fact: They say bad things come in threes, but Staley must have missed the memo because he’s got a full season’s worth of unfortunate events!.
• Headline: How to Make an American Fashion Brand (No Sewing Required!). Impact: The success of LPA could inspire future fashion entrepreneurs to skip sewing altogether, leading to a revolution where fashion is all about glue and glitter. Watch out, Paris Fashion Week!. Fact: In the world of fashion, if you can’t sew, just slap some glitter on it and call it avant-garde. Voila, you’re now a designer!.
• Headline: Why Trump’s Pardon of Arpaio Follows Law, Yet Challenges It. Impact: Trump's pardon of Arpaio could create a future where lawlessness is celebrated. Who knows? Next, we might see a reality show where lawbreakers compete for presidential pardons!. Fact: When legality meets celebrity, you get a convoluted mess that makes reality TV look like a documentary on the history of knitting..