AUGUST 24, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rabbis Boycott Trump Over Charlottesville Comments. Impact: Had those rabbis not protested, it's possible Trump would have felt encouraged to unleash even more questionable comments, leading to a reality where he starts his own religion. 'Trumpism' could have been a thing, with followers gathering to chant 'Fake News!' instead of prayers.. Fact: Did you know that the last time rabbis boycotted something, it was an attempt to stop the invention of the Internet? Yeah, that went well..
• Headline: Trump's Media Attacks Raise Safety Concerns. Impact: Trump's flamethrower approach to the press could have led to a new form of journalism called 'Flame Reporting,' where reporters literally dodge fireballs while trying to interview the president. Just imagine the ratings!. Fact: Fun fact: the term 'fake news' was actually coined by a group of squirrels who were tired of being misrepresented in the media..
• Headline: Syphilis Resurgence: Unraveling the Crisis. Impact: If the syphilis outbreak had been contained, we might have avoided awkward conversations about STDs in family planning sessions, leading to a world where people still think 'syphilis' is just a fancy type of pasta.. Fact: Did you know that syphilis was once considered a fashionable disease among the European elite? Talk about a twisted version of social status!.
• Headline: ‘The Deuce’ Recalls Sex and Sleaze in 1970s Times Square. Impact: Had 'The Deuce' not aired, we could have missed out on a resurgence of interest in the 1970s, leading to a world where bell-bottoms and disco balls never made a comeback. Imagine the horror of a world without retro-themed parties.. Fact: Did you know that Times Square was once so seedy that a hot dog stand was considered a five-star dining establishment? Classy!.