AUGUST 23, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fiat Chrysler's Strategic Shift to China. Impact: Fiat Chrysler's quest for Chinese investments led to a surprising rise in the popularity of chopstick-themed car accessories. Who knew that cars and Chinese culture would become a package deal?. Fact: Did you know that the auto industry is basically a game of Monopoly, but with fewer top hats and more questionable financial decisions?.
• Headline: Google and Walmart Join Forces for Online Shopping. Impact: Google and Walmart's partnership set off a chain reaction where voice-activated shopping became so popular that people now accidentally order items while trying to sing in the shower. Thanks, technology!. Fact: Did you know that 'Hey Google, buy me a yacht' was the most commonly misused voice command before it was a meme?.
• Headline: Journey Through New England with Joyce Maynard. Impact: Joyce Maynard's journey through New England sparked a nationwide trend of middle-aged couples taking spontaneous motorcycle trips, leading to a sudden increase in leather jacket sales and questionable life choices.. Fact: Did you know that every motorcycle trip supposedly leads to a midlife crisis? It's basically a law of physics..
• Headline: A Hunt for Ways to Combat Online Radicalization. Impact: The hunt for ways to combat online radicalization inadvertently led to the development of the world's first AI therapist, who now spends its days sorting out the emotional baggage of internet trolls.. Fact: Did you know that the average internet troll has the emotional depth of a teaspoon? It's a sad reality for them..
• Headline: In Movies and on TV, Racism Made Plain. Impact: The portrayal of racism in movies and TV shows prompted a global initiative where filmmakers began hiring sensitivity readers, leading to a bizarre spike in the number of 'historically accurate' alien invasion films.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason aliens haven't contacted us yet is that they heard our movies and decided we weren't worth the trouble?.