JULY 14, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate Health Bill Faces Support Challenges. Impact: If only Mitch McConnell had decided to bake cookies instead of rewriting health care bills, perhaps the world would have had a cookie revolution instead of endless political debates. Imagine a timeline where everyone is too busy enjoying cookies to argue about health care!. Fact: Did you know that in the time it takes to read a Senate bill, you could have watched all the seasons of your favorite show? Just saying!.
• Headline: David Solomon's Dual Life as D.J.. Impact: David Solomon's double life as a D.J. may have inspired future CEOs to adopt alter egos, leading to a time where corporate meetings are held in nightclubs. Picture boardrooms filled with disco balls and decision-making accompanied by a live DJ!. Fact: Did you know that the only thing better than a corporate ladder is a corporate dance floor? Who knew finance could be so groovy?.
• Headline: Brazil's Shipbuilding Crisis Under Lula's Presidency. Impact: The decline of Brazil's shipbuilding industry ultimately led to the rise of alternative transportation methods, including the popularization of 'walking and talking' as a legitimate means of travel. Who needs ships when you can just stroll and gossip?. Fact: Did you know that 'naïveté' has been a common trait throughout history? Just look at people trying to build empires on quicksand!.
• Headline: In Brazil, Political Rivals Face a Common Threat: A Rising Judiciary. Impact: The rising judiciary in Brazil sparked a global trend of judges becoming celebrities, leading to reality TV shows where judges decide cases while critiquing fashion choices. Welcome to 'Judicial Runway'!. Fact: Did you know that in some alternate universes, judges are not only legal authorities but also fashion icons? Talk about a gavel with style!.
• Headline: Review: The Greatest of Danes, as Oscar Isaac Takes On ‘Hamlet’. Impact: Oscar Isaac's interpretation of Hamlet reignited global interest in Shakespeare, leading to a bizarre renaissance where all classic literature was performed as slapstick comedy. 'To be or not to be' turned into 'To be or not to be funny!'. Fact: Did you know that Shakespeare originally wrote 'Hamlet' as a musical? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that have been a twist?.