JUNE 27, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hedge Funds Expand Strategies to Europe. Impact: The aggressive overseas tactics of American hedge funds caused a ripple effect, leading to a bizarre trend where European investors started wearing cowboy hats to board meetings, believing it would somehow intimidate their American counterparts.. Fact: If you think hedge funds are just about stocks, you haven't seen their secret poker games where the chips are actually made of euro bills and pride..
• Headline: Measuring Corporate Citizenship through ESG. Impact: The rise of E.S.G. metrics led to companies pretending to care about the environment, resulting in the world's first corporate rainforest complete with 'eco-friendly' plastic trees, because nothing says sustainability like faking it.. Fact: Measuring good corporate citizenship is like trying to weigh a cloud—impossible and mostly a waste of time unless you want to look impressive at dinner parties..
• Headline: The Weird, Mystic Pull of Southwest England. Impact: The mystical pull of Southwest England inspired a new wave of reality shows, where contestants compete in ridiculous quests for magical artifacts, eventually leading to the rise of 'Reality Knights' as the next big thing in entertainment.. Fact: If you ever wanted to feel like a knight of the Round Table, just remember: there were no cameras around back then to capture your epic failures..
• Headline: Canada’s Secret to Resisting the West’s Populist Wave. Impact: Canada's resistance to populism inspired a bizarre trend of maple syrup diplomacy, where politicians began sweetening their speeches literally, resulting in an international syrup shortage and a rise in pancake-related protests.. Fact: Canadians have mastered the art of politeness while simultaneously plotting their next hockey game—talk about a multitasking nation!.