JUNE 6, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: China's Clean Energy Ambitions Rise. Impact: China's clean energy ambitions lead to a global green revolution, where nations compete to see who can plant the most solar panels in the shape of a panda, eventually resulting in a new world currency backed by renewable energy credits and a global obsession with eco-friendly merchandise.. Fact: Did you know that while the U.S. was retreating from clean energy, China was just warming up? Talk about an unexpected glow-up!.
• Headline: Marc Kasowitz: Trump's Legal Strategist. Impact: Marc Kasowitz's reputation as 'the toughest of the tough guys' inspires a new genre of legal dramas where lawyers wear leather jackets and sunglasses in court, leading to an uptick in drama and a severe shortage of courtroom decorum.. Fact: Did you know that being a 'tough guy' in legal terms usually just means being really good at shouting? Who knew courtrooms were just like high school drama clubs?.
• Headline: Matthew Perry's The End of Longing. Impact: Matthew Perry's play leads to a resurgence of 'Friends'-themed productions worldwide, ultimately resulting in a bizarre trend where coffee shops become pop-up theaters, and baristas moonlight as actors in tragicomedies about caffeine addiction.. Fact: Did you know that 'The End of Longing' is actually just the title of Matthew Perry’s personal diary during his coffee shop days? Spoiler: it has a lot to do with espresso..
• Headline: The Teenage Life, Streamed Live and for Profit. Impact: The rise of live-streamed teenage life creates a new breed of social media celebrities, leading to the eventual invention of a new sport: competitive influencer-ing, where teens battle it out for the most followers while simultaneously trying to avoid the pitfalls of reality.. Fact: Did you know that if you live-stream your teenage angst, it can actually be monetized? Welcome to the future, where emotional turmoil pays the bills!.