MAY 2, 2017

Full News Archive

• Headline: TV Station Consolidation Following F.C.C. Changes. Impact: The consolidation of local TV stations led to an era where every channel plays the same reality show reruns, making us collectively dumber. Thanks, F.C.C.!. Fact: Did you know that the average American now spends over 4 hours a day watching TV? That's right, we could have been learning a new language, but instead, we're binge-watching shows about people who can't even pick out their own groceries..
• Headline: Trump's Unconventional Diplomatic Moves. Impact: Trump's unconventional diplomacy with Kim and Duterte set a precedent for world leaders to start negotiating via tweet, leading to future international agreements written in emojis.. Fact: Did you know that emojis are now considered a form of communication in diplomatic circles? Yep, we're one step away from world peace being represented by a smiling face and a thumbs up..
• Headline: Having Trouble Having It All? Ivanka Alone Can Fix It. Impact: Ivanka's self-help book inspired countless memes, leading to a generation of women who think they can 'have it all' while simultaneously trying to figure out how to boil an egg.. Fact: Did you know that 'having it all' is often just code for 'I’m really good at pretending'? Let’s not forget, her advice is probably just the result of extensive Googling..